Lessons Learned By A Hopeless Romantic..v1

I have always been the romantic one.

I never play around with emotions and its very seldom for me to fall inlove with someone.

But when I do..  I'm the hopeless romantic kinda girl..

Most of the times, I end up getting hurt.

So here are few lessons coming from my broken heart and I pray that I will find strength to learn from my mistakes and come out as a wiser and stronger woman.

• Honesty has to be the basis of everything.
• Guard your heart and be careful with where you place your trust or how you are drawn into a persons life.
• Words are just words.
• Action reveals what a person truly believes and exposes their character.
• It's easy to say the 5 letter word "Sorry".
• It's also easy to say the 3 words "I love you".
• Trust God and believe that He has an amazing plan for you. Learn to let go.
• In happiness or in despair, never compromise your values.
• Keep some pride and love for yourself.
• Plant your own garden rather than waiting for someone to give you flowers..do things to nourish your soul.

Mr. Big

You ever had your version of Mr. Big?

I think I do.

Carrie: You do this every time! *Every* time! What? Do you have some sort of radar? Carrie might be happy - it's time to sweep in and shit all over it?
Big: What? No, no, I came here to tell you something. I made a mistake. You and I...
Carrie: You and I - *nothing*! You can not do this to me again! You can not jerk me around!
Big: Carrie, listen to me. It is different this time...
Carrie: Oh, it's never different! It's six years of *never* being different! This is it! I am done! Don't call me ever again! Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name! And you can drive up this street all you want - because I don't live here any more! 

Never Meant To Be

I used to connect events.

I always thought that there is no such thing as "coincidence" in this life.

That everything was bound to happen..and that things are meant to be.

Serendipity.

That's what I thought.

But I know better now.

It was never meant to be.

It was a mistake.

A lesson that I should have learned  from a different scenario.

I'm accepting it already. We were never meant to be.

11 Yellow Labradors

Georgina gave birth to 9 yellow little ones.

6 males, 3 females.

I'll post pictures soon!

Only Me

Bestfriend A brought me home yesterday. 

Maybe she doesn't trust my zombie mode. I'm just drifting.

On our way home, she told me to listen to this song because maybe I'll find the lyrics close to my heart.

I'm seriously not even trying to analyze what happened...what for. There's no point in trying to understand it anymore. In the end, it will just be my thoughts. 

The only person who can answer my questions would be G. But he's happily skiing somewhere or out drinking beer with his friends. 
My heart tells me that he does think of me. My heart tells me that maybe he will find his way back to me...but then again, I don't trust my heart anymore.

I thought I feel him and that I feel what he feels. I thought there was a deeper kind of connection between us-something rare and true. But what happened between us just showed that it was just me hoping. That my heart can't even detect a lie. 
In the end, it was only me. 

There was no G&K to begin with. It was never real.

It was what I wanted, It was what I dreamed of. But it was never real.

And I should start accepting that.

Like what this song tells me... maybe we are better off this way.

I was wrong.

My heart was wrong.

What I felt was wrong.

I was stupid and wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

It was not meant to be.

It was not happily ever after.

Favorite Bible Verse

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” —I Corinthians 13:4-8

Lullaby

I used to fall asleep in a matter of minutes..

Give me my bed..
My blankie..
A comfortable position..

And a lullaby.

This used to be my lullaby for 10 months..

I end up memorizing it...

And my lullaby now.. 

I end up crying myself to sleep.

Still effective.

Flying This 2012

I have always wanted to travel more. I actually thought that I get to enjoy this with G but since he and I are no longer together.. I am going solo flight.

I have always wondered if I can do it on my own. I haven't tried this EVER...but now is a perfect time to start testing my limits..exploring more..and finding more about myself. Besides, who knows what I will encounter on my trip? Business Ideas, Work, More Acquaintances and a dose of Culture. I like Culture.

I. SINGAPORE: Should be booked soon. A week-long drinking vacation with my bestfriend Y and enough time to explore the city on my own (since bestfriend Y got work thus I only get to see her after her shift). I'm excited. Anybody in SG who wants to meet up? There are some friends who are already in SG (those who went there right after college)..so I am looking forward to meet up with them too.

II. SOUTH KOREA: Ofcourse it's "South". Us girls will go there before the year ends (before Bestfriend A gets married). We were trying to figure out where we want to go. We want snow, we don't want sun (we need to keep our complexion for the wedding), we want it in Asia, we want to wear boots (hahahaha)...thus S. Korea.

Now Trip III is difficult. I have always wanted to go Santorini, Greece but its too near Sofia. Too much sad emotions and memories can ruin a trip..and so I don't want to go there. Maybe next year when feelings are more manageable. Who knows.

So for now, Santorini is out of the picture.

New York: I miss Gary. I just received a long call from him  during my lunchbreak. He shared with me some wonderful news...and I just want to be there for him. But when is the best time to go to New York?

Germany: This tops my list. I'm planning to meet A there. I'm sure I have a place to stay. I can easily go around. Bestfriend Y is also pushing for me to visit Germany this year-she's quite sure that I'll have loads of fun. I have to start preparing for this option.. My friend A needs to send me an invite.

Where are you off this 2012? For me, I can't wait to escape Manila.

It Will All Get Better In Time

In the absence of my bestfriends (Y in Singapore, G in New York, A in Marrying-Mode, RA in getting laid mode)... I try to cope and sing with 'boyce avenue'..

I guess in the middle of a storm... I shouldn't lose my hope and faith.

Hope that time will ease the pain.

Hope that it will all get better...

When Words Are Not Enough

I have always been the talkative one.

I have always been expressive.. I talk talk talk. 
I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
I never run out of words..I express myself well.
May it be in anger, in despair and in happiness-words easily pour in.. my thoughts are naturally connected to my speech.

But now, no words can express what I feel.

I don't want to talk about it.

I want to keep it all in...digest it.

It certainly feels lonely...

A certain emptiness..

It feels suffocating...

But what can I do... for the first time in my life, words are not enough to express what I feel.

Happy 4th 25th Birthday to ME!

It's my 4th 25th birthday..and yes, I will make myself forever 25.

It will be an amazing year and an abundant one too.

I have so much to share.. and I have new  plans for my blog.. so keep up with me.. :)

Note: How do I make my personal blog? I'm planning to shift to my own site? :) Any techy-recommendations?