Only Me

Bestfriend A brought me home yesterday. 

Maybe she doesn't trust my zombie mode. I'm just drifting.

On our way home, she told me to listen to this song because maybe I'll find the lyrics close to my heart.

I'm seriously not even trying to analyze what happened...what for. There's no point in trying to understand it anymore. In the end, it will just be my thoughts. 

The only person who can answer my questions would be G. But he's happily skiing somewhere or out drinking beer with his friends. 
My heart tells me that he does think of me. My heart tells me that maybe he will find his way back to me...but then again, I don't trust my heart anymore.

I thought I feel him and that I feel what he feels. I thought there was a deeper kind of connection between us-something rare and true. But what happened between us just showed that it was just me hoping. That my heart can't even detect a lie. 
In the end, it was only me. 

There was no G&K to begin with. It was never real.

It was what I wanted, It was what I dreamed of. But it was never real.

And I should start accepting that.

Like what this song tells me... maybe we are better off this way.

I was wrong.

My heart was wrong.

What I felt was wrong.

I was stupid and wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

It was not meant to be.

It was not happily ever after.